


Will Sherlock deduce and help

by iwritefanfictions



Category: Sherlock (TV), Sherlock Holmes & Related Fandoms
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Fluff and Angst, John Needs A Hug, John is a Mess, M/M, Sad and Happy, Self-Harm, Sherlock Holmes Needs a Hug, Sherlock is a Mess, will contain johnlock
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-20
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 03:53:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22330627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwritefanfictions/pseuds/iwritefanfictions
Summary: John is not okay but will Sherlock notice in time to help him. If he noticed could help John even if he has his own demons to deal with.
Relationships: Sherlock Holmes & John Watson, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 12
Kudos: 49





	1. Will he notice?

**Author's Note:**

> I don't own Sherlock Holmes, but John Watson does.  
> This is the first part of my new fanfic. Please leave a review and I'm open for suggestions! Second chapter coming soon

John was sitting in his usual chair, with his usual book. He was so normal and predictable he wondered when Sherlock would leave him because he would eventually get bored of him. Sherlock was amazing and had a gift no other person on earth possessed and then there was John… plain old stupid John. sure he saved sherlock every now and then but nothing the great detective couldn't do himself.  
John was good at one thing, taking care of sherlock at home. It became his calling. John made sure than sherlock ate at least some food, that he slept at least 4 hours each night and that Sherlock wouldn’t be triggered to relapse.  
The last part is a bit ironic or even hypocritical of John because what you might not know about the oh-so-boring doctor John Watson is that he has his own addiction. John likes to slice up his own skin, mutilate his arm or thighs, bassically cut himself in any place that won’t be discovered.  
John thought Sherlock would have found out the first second after they met but Sherlock didn’t. Sherlock had difficulties understanding actions driven by emotions and Sherlock would just assume something was wrong with the way john acted. It's been 2 years since they moved in 221 B Baker Street and Sherlock hasn't found out; yet.  
“Joooooohhn” sherlock moaned like a little kid. “I’m bored, John. We haven't had any interesting cases lately. Not even a simple murder.” John shook his head. Sherlock Holmes the only person waiting for a murder to happen around the corner.  
“Go do something productive for once, like I don't know, maybe get some groceries!” John mocked Sherlock. Sherlock scoffed at the idea “I wouldn't waste my precious time by doing something so trivial.” John sighed and looked down at his book again.  
The day kept dragging on and on until sherlock exclaimed “Yes, finally a homicide, even better John a murder.” John looked up and saw Sherlock grabbing his coat and his iconic hat. “What are you waiting for? Let’s go.” John looked up at those blue eyes glistening with a spark of joy. “Okay, okay. Of Course.”  
\--  
Of Course brilliant Sherlock solved it, of course he had to tell miss Hudson everything and of course she didn't understand everything that well but did make them some tea.  
“How did you know the boyfriend wouldn't have done it?” miss Hudson asked sherlock while sipping some of her tea. “Well it's quite obvious isn't it?” he paused and continued. “Lesstrange thought it would've been her boyfriend because of the scars and bruises on her wrist and thighs but when asked about their relationship the boyfriend made it quite clear she didn't want to be intimate with him.” miss Hudson nodded. “Which only left her father as a suspect and in the end the murderer.” John looked up at sherlock. “How were you so surtain than they were not intimate? The boy could have lied.” Sherlock laugh as if john missed something obvious. “Did you see the scar placement. Carefully planned out and hidden from places where the public eye could witness.” Johns face turned a shade whiter.  
“Even an idiot could see that those were self-inflicted.” miss Hudson gasped. “That pretty little thing did that to herself. What a shame, shame.” she shook her head. Sherlock began talking again “I never really understood the people that self harmed. Why hurt yourself? It won't make you forget like alcohol does, neither does it distract you like drugs.”  
john cleared his throat. “Patients of mine have spoken about self inflicted injuries before. Most times it's about controlling the pain you feel inside and some use it to punish themselves. There are even people who say that it's simply an addiction that helps them manage sadness, depression or grief.” he looked up at sherlock. “It's not that different from a drug addiction.” there fell a silence and John regretted speaking up. “Well boys it's about time to rest up, busy day tomorrow. Here sherlock take some biscuits. Goodnight.” and with that they were in the hallway, returning to their home.  
\--  
Sherlock laid in bed scrolling through ‘the signs that your family member is struggling with self harm’. Sherlock had never been partially interested in mental illnesses so he just erased it from his mind palace. “Sign 1. Your family member always wears long clothing even during warm weather.” Sherlock thought about it and he had never seen John without a jumper before. Maybe it was a coincidence. “Sign 2. Your family member has a history with mental illnesses like PTSD, Depression or Anxiety.” John has PTSD but Sherlock has never imagined it still affecting his daily life. “Sign 3. Your family has spoken about self harming and has either defended it or didn't give their opinion.” Sherlock closed the tab on his phone. This was enough for today. He was determined to keep a close eye on John.  
\--


	2. Sign one; Your family member always wears long clothing even during warm weather.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock doesn't understand why John would wear such warm clothing. Sherlock sees through John's lies.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A short update because I had this idea. If you have any suggestions you can comment or PM them :) thank you lovelies for reading this!

“Sign 1. Your family member always wears long clothing even during warm weather.” Sherlock thought about it and he had never seen John without a jumper before. Maybe it was a coincidence. “Sign 2. Your family member has a history with mental illnesses like PTSD, Depression or Anxiety.” John has PTSD but Sherlock has never imagined it still affecting his daily life. “Sign 3. Your family has spoken about self harming and has either defended it or didn't give their opinion.” Sherlock closed the tab on his phone. This was enough for today. He was determined to keep a close eye on John.  
\--  
Sign 1. Your family member always wears long clothing even during warm weather.

Sherlock and John were on a case together. Sherlock found it rather uneventful so he focused his attention solely on John.   
John was wearing his usual jumper, even though it was rather warm in the apartment where they were. Sherlock and most of the cops that were there had pushed their sleeves halfway up their arms but John hadn't done such a thing.   
Sherlock cleared his throat “John you look quite warm, maybe you should've thought twice about your outfit.” John let out a nervous laugh “I’m an adult man and I will make my own fashion choices. Just focus on the case Sherlock.” John sounded cautious. Sherlock didn't push and worked the case.  
“I’m exhausted” John sighed after their apartment door closed behind them. “I’m going to make some tea, want a cup?” Sherlock nodded and went over to his favourite chair. I don't understand why someone would cut themselves. Of Course i understand an addiction but why something that didn't even make the doctor high. I never want to be wrong when im deducing but im really wish John has another explanation for his recent behavior. I can't imagine what would happen if he'd hit a vein and hed d-  
“Sherlock?” John immediately got sherlocks attention. John reached his arm out to give Sherlock his cup of tea. Sherlock noticed a thin cut on John's thumb but it was too big to be a papercut. If Sherlock's deduction was right it could be an accident with his blade.   
Sherlock accepted his cup and John sat down in front of him. “Did you cut your thumb?”Sherlock asked nonchalantly. John looked at his thumb and pulled his sleeve a bit further down. “Oh, yeah.” John said without looking up. “A papercut?” Sherlock asked just to test the waters. John looked up “yeah, i remember. I was reading this case that Lestrade sent over and accidently cut my thumb.” he let out an obviously fake laugh and took a sip of his tea. He lied about something trivial. This isn't a good sign. Sherlock went back to his mind palace and didn't even notice when John went upstairs. John just needed space to breath.


	3. Had John given in or had he given up?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John wants to know why sherlock keeps nagging him. Sherlock is done beating around the bush and he wants, needs, answers and John doesn't have a choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you guys will like it. If you have any ideas or suggestions you can DM me or comment! Every comment makes my day (even when people correct my grammar). Also I know my grammar and spelling are far from perfect but english is my second language (btw my ability to speak is better than to write :P).  
> Also I'm thinking of writing a tad about Sherlock and his disordered eating and I might even write about him having Anorexia or and EDNOS. What do you think about that? Yes or no?   
> ~Sam

Ofcourse John had noticed an abnormal amount of attention from Sherlock, normally the guy wouldn’t even notice him half the time. But recently Sherlock questioned John's every move and asked how he was doing?! John had to put an end to it. What was this all about?

After a long case the men walked into 221 B Baker street, normally John would make tea and force Sherlock to eat some Chinese or at the very least some toast. But this time John said “Sherlock we need to talk, please sit down.” Sherlock and John sat in their usual chairs facing each other. Sherlock opened his mouth, “is this really necessary? I have a project that I’m working on and beside that I-“ John cut him off.

“ Sherlock why are you deducing me? You can ask me a question if you’d like to know something but watching me is a bit immature” _even for you_ John thought. Sherlock straightened in his seat and put his legs over each other. “I have already deduced that you won't talk about it and might even suggest that you would probably lie to me.” John frowned, he hadn’t thought he would have something to tell Sherlock. Sure he stopped going to therapy, _because it obviously wasn’t helping_ and he didn’t want to have to talk about his " **little problem"**. But surely Sherlock wouldn’t have known that, would he? John cleared his throat

“ I have know idea what you might be suggesting.” He crossed his arms over each other, Sherlock would probably deduce something out of that _but it was none of his damn business_. “ John, I think… no I **know** that you’re hurting yourself. All the signs point to you mutilating your own body. Also I know you quit therapy.” John gritted his teeth. He couldn’t have known he quit because he kept pretending to go unless…

“Mycroft?” Sherlock nodded. “ Yes, I did quit therapy, Which is none of your business, but the rest...” he swallowed. “ you’ve got all wrong.”

Sherlock looked like a disappointed parent that had asked their child, who was covered in chocolate, if they had eaten the missing chocolate bar and yet the child denied it.

“ John I’m never mistaken.” He simply said. “ I’m just” , _worried_ Sherlock thought, “ I don't want you to kill yourself.” John was taken aback. Sherlock can't be worried about him. John looked at the floor.

“I thought you were able to deduce better than that Sherlock. That complete rubbish. I would never kill myself and I **don’t** harm myself.” John was defensive and Sherlock was done playing nice. He had given John time to tell him on his own but yet John wouldn’t trust him and that… hurt.

“Arms and legs” Sherlock said in monotone. John looked as white as a ghost. Sherlock can't mean what I think he’s saying. “ Pardon?” John said anxiously Sherlock put both of his feet down and l looked at john.

“Okay, show me your arms.” John tried to steady his breathing, “ there is absolutely nothing to show. Sherlock, stop this nonsense!” John stood up and Sherlock asked him kindly to sit down. John didn’t.

Sherlock's last resort was to grab John's wrist and John hissed and snatched it away. Sherlock looked surprised. “ You..." he paused, "didn’t bandage it.” John looked down at his arm, which started bleeding again. 

He felt his face grow red and felt tears coming. _It’s over. I’m pathetic. He will hate me_. “ No, I didn’t.” Sherlock walked away and came back with a first aid kit.

“Let me help you.” John looked angry and ashamed.

“I’m a bloody doctor. I can do it myself!”

“Apparently not!” Sherlock look stern. “Sit. Down.” John gave in, _gave up_ and sat down.

“ Arm?” Sherlock reached for john's arm.

“Please don't hate me,” John whispered.


	4. Will John accept help?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We all have our pasts, our ghosts, and you shouldn't go through that alone.

“Arm?” Sherlock reached for John's arm.

“Please don't hate me,” John whispered.  
\--  
“I would never hate you, john. We all have our pasts, our ghosts, and you shouldn't go through that alone. please ,may I help you?”

John slowly gave Sherlock his arm. John winced at the sudden contact with his still fresh wounds. Sherlock slowly lifted the sleeve of John's jumper. 

There were wounds, some that will have to be stitched, and scars littered his arm. Sherlock looked shocked for a mere second before focusing on the task ahead.

“It’s not as bad it looks.” John said in a voice that was barely above a whisper.  
Sherlock let go of John's arm as he stood up. 

“You're hurt john. That is bad! And its bullocks. You're a doctor so you can clearly see that two need stitching and not even to mention that you should have bandaged it.”  
Sherlock grabbed the first aid kit that they stored under their sink and put everything he needed on the table next to them. John was still sitting in his red chair with his arm on his leg. He looked down at his arm with discomfort.

Sherlock placed a chair next to john and grabbed the scarred arm before speaking up: “my stitching technique won't be as delicate but it will be effective and well quite frankly you don't have any other choice.” he searched for johns eyes but they fixated on the scarred arm.

“This might hurt.” Sherlock pushed the needle with the tread in.   
John let out a huff, “can't be worse than i've already done…”. 

Both men were silent while Sherlock continued with stitching and bandaging the hurt arm. “Can you hold this in place” he asked the doctor. John complied as Sherlock set the bandage in place.

John mumbled a quick thanks as he pushed his sleeve down. The doctor looked at his hands while dreading the conversation that was bound to happen.

“John?” Sherlock waited for him to look up. “John, we have to talk about this”.  
“I know...” John said as he looked up to sherlock. The normally emotionless detective's face had grief written all across it. 

“Can we talk tomorrow? I'm tired sherlock.” John pleaded. Sherlock spoke calmly “we can talk more in depth tomorrow but i have a few questions for now.” John nodded.

“John have you talked to anyone about these self inflicted injuries?”   
john shook his head.

“Will you be able to talk to me about it?”   
John hesitated, “I don't know.”  
“You, out of anyone, should know that this is something you can't do alone.” John nodded as he spoke: “i'll try to talk to you.” Sherlock smiled warmly at him.

John yawned. He was exhausted and Sherlock looked quite out of it as well. “Last question for now. Will you be okay tonight?” johns eyes shot up. “You care?” He was almost inaudible but the detective was focused on john. “Of course, i care!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone, I saw some comments and I felt really bad for not updating. I will try to update this every weekend or week.   
> I have a question: what do you think about John also being worried about Sherlock's disordered eating?  
> Have a lovely day and week!


End file.
